Goals, Resolutions???

I’ve never been big on making New Year’s Resolutions. I have goals & they are written. I like to make sure that I am in control of achieving my goals. What would be the point if there was no hope of achieving. As much as I would like to get rid of COVID-19, it is not in my control. Who knows what 2021 might bring? After what happened in 2020 I don’t think we would be surprised by much.

A few days ago my husband & I sat down to go over our goals for the future. We did it together. We figured that way we would have an idea where the other one was coming from & where we want to go. Doing so let’s us also support each other.

For the last few years, my goals were not as usual. I suspected I had only limited control over my one very important goal – to improve my health by beating cancer. In a few days, it will be one year since my chemo finished & I am still in remission. I achieved my goal.

Now it is 2021, I can have goals other than just one. However, my health is still my major goal. Rather than a goal to lose weight, I have decided that improved health is better. I know I can control those things, mostly. Other goals include; clean & tidy house, yard & small vegetable, herb garden; acquiring clients for my coaching/mentoring business, & increasing my understanding of & growing my spirituality. I think these three goals are quite enough, as they are quite complex & I need a good handle on them before I take on more.

Whether we choose to make New Year’s Resolutions, or establish goals on a regular basis & when appropriate, what we usually want is to be successful in sticking to our resolutions or achieving our goals.

Saying all that gets me to what I really want to say – whether resolutions or goals – you get to choose what you want to accomplish. I do believe we are what we think about. That is not to say you get sick, or your relationship fails because that is what you were specifically thinking or wanting. However, were you thinking ‘I am strong, healthy, & have abundant energy’, or ‘my partner & I have a magnificent relationship, constantly growing’? So it isn’t just that you weren’t thinking negative, you might not have been thinking positive thoughts. Decide what you want, think about it in positive terms, don’t worry about the outcome, & do the work that needs to be done to get what you want.

You are the captain of you. You decide what you want & you can focus your attention specifically. Make sure you have the control to make your goals a reality. That means you are not relying on someone else to make your dream (goal) come true.

Make sure your goals & resolutions are achievable by you; that they do not rely on someone or something over which you have no control. You want to succeed. If you don’t succeed in some way, reflect on what you did or didn’t do, re-strategize & try something different until you get it right. Also, celebrate what you did achieve. And remember, sometimes it takes more than one attempt.

If you need some help to sort through all this, or someone to hold you accountable give me a shout. I’m happy to chat with you, see if & how we can work together to help you make your dreams come true.

You can contact me via email at fromtheheartwithdr.elaine@gmail.com

The End Suggests Beginning. What’s Next?

adorable purebred dog standing at wooden table and looking away
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Whether you make New Year’s Resolutions or set goals for the next month, year, or longer the question remains: What’s Next?

I am a long-time goal setter, but not much of a New Year’s Resolution person. As I reflect on the past year, and the past 10 years, I have a lot to consider. The events and changes are innumerable.

We Can Learn from All Situations

This might not resonate with many, but I learn from watching movies, tv shows, and reading fiction. Of course, I also learn from reading scholarly articles and research, but there is much to learn about people from what is being created for entertainment.

I am a long-time Coronation Street watcher. One of the things I notice is that every catastrophe that occurs is the result of lies and deception. Imagine that? I don’t think that is much of a surprise to anyone. Other things to watch for: Sometimes the person isn’t what they initially appear to be; there is more than one side to the story; communication is sorely lacking (there is something important to say and small interruptions keep it from being said – so frustrating), and we see all a variety of leadership styles, we see these same things in daily life.

Over the last several years I have learned a great deal.

common blue butterfly perched on grass
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  1. Your past does not equal your future.
  2. You can have a beautiful life despite some chronic health conditions.
  3. You are good enough.
  4. You are never too old to learn new stuff.
  5. Though I have always known change is inevitable, we control our change and our life. (That isn’t as nasty or mean as I once thought – I did not decide to have health challenges – well, not intentionally, but in retrospect I see why some of them have occurred).
  6. If you are only as old as you feel – decide what age you want to be and feel that age.
  7. It is possible to have a beautiful life.

I have an almost insane number of things that I want to investigate further. Thoughts that require exploration, ideas to be pursued in numerous ways, and actions that I feel obligated to pursue, for my own satisfaction.

The Future

My ‘what next’ requires I give some thought to my priorities. Age and health mean I must think about the timelines for what I want to accomplish, where I want to go, and what I want to do. Though I know I need to not do ‘too much’, whatever that is, I know it means that I have to pace myself carefully to maintain my health. Without my health, I will not be able to do anything. My health is important to me because I value my family. If I don’t want to burden my family and want to have good times with them, I need to look after myself.

crystal ball
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Supporting my teaching of the importance of self-care, I need to make a concerted effort to put that into practice. I’ve gotten better at self-care, but I am easily led astray by my active mind. One more thing won’t be difficult, won’t add to my fatigue. But of course, there is always one more thing.

What’s Next

What next? For me it is to re-examine my values, desires, goals, and then set priorities. Will these be New Year’s Resolutions? No! They will be a game plan for the next 3, 6, 12 months, or maybe the next 5 years. Focus and priority is high on my list of immediate things to do. Before leading others, I must successfully lead myself. What is next for you?