Tag: #changes

Has Your Work Increased Over Time?

Posted on by Dr. Elaine

When you started your job, you probably had a fairly good idea of your job description and what your work would involve. You knew that as you became more competent at the various /tasks you would have more responsibilities added till you were proficient in your role.

You are starting to find this a bit too much for you to manage. You are becoming tired, less enthusiastic about your job, and the stress is starting to get to you. You are asking yourself, “how did I get into this situation”?Have you heard about boiling a frog?

You have become proficient and taken on the additional tasks and projects given to you. You have done well and are proud of yourself. Now the additional jobs and projects are becoming more frequent and many are now expected of you and added to your responsibilities.

Recipe for Boiling a Live Frog

Ingredients

  1. One live frog
  2. One pot large enough to cover the frog with water
  3. Enough water to cover the frog

Fill the pot with water. While waiting for the water to boil, catch your live frog. Once the water is boiling, drop the frog in the water. Boil till done.

Comment:

My frog jumped out of the water; I don’t think your recipe works.

Response:

My goodness, everyone knows you can’t boil the water first. You must put the frog in the pot of room temperature water, then bring the water to a boil.

Why Have I Given You This Information? What Does This Have to do With the Changes to Your Work Responsibilities?

More than once I have ended up in such a situation. One time when I moved on two people were hired to replace me. Has this happened to you? As in the opening description, I took on one more thing, then one more thing, and it continued – after all, how much time can just one more thing take? One little task, no problem.

More tasks are given to you and you are managing them quite well, but you are getting tired. You are no longer sure if this is the job you want. Your family is complaining that you spend too much time working and that you are too tired to do things with them when you get home.

What has happened here? Just like the frog, the heat was slowly turned up, you didn’t even notice until it was too much and you were done – just like the frog.

What can you do about this type of situation?

You might have been in the job for years and you are satisfied. You are working in a field of your choosing. When you first started you were excited to go to work every day. Some of that initial enthusiasm has worn off now as your workload has increased and no longer aligns with your values or the direction of your goals. It is not too late. You can start now to set your boundaries. Of course, it is difficult to backtrack, but it is possible. A carefully thought-out plan is needed, and this plan begins with an open mind, courage, and a clear understanding of your values and goals. What is important to you? What are your priorities? This can be a hefty task and you might want to get a bit of help.

Know your boundaries (ideally from your first day of work, but it is never too late). I suggest you go back to look at your values. Is the job in alignment with your values? As you determine your boundaries are they in alignment with your values and goals?

Guidance at such a time might be valuable. This is where a coach or mentor can come in handy. Give me a shout and let’s figure out what you want to do and how you will go about getting what you want.

drelaine@drelaineleadership.com

Follow Your Heart

Posted on by Dr. Elaine

I’m sure you have heard this somewhere, at some time. But what does that mean? To me it means living from my heart. That still might not be enough to give you a good understanding. Let me tell you more.

Our mind/brain tends to rule us like a dictator. When we follow the brain, we are ruled by what we have learned and what has been handed down over the years; this influences our understanding, actions, reactions, and decisions. When you think of actions and reactions think about emotions. So often we react to our emotions only to later regret our actions. We don’t need to do that; we can learn to reprogram our brains and respond rather than react. By reprogramming our brain, we can then respond in a way that aligns with our values, in a way that we choose, in a way that will lead us to be the person we want to be. By constantly following your brain there is a good chance that you are doing what you have always done. We know where that will lead – to the same results you have always gotten.

For example: Stress often causes people to react (respond) by habit to challenging situations with anger, resentment, frustration, hurt feeling. We know these behaviours are destructive, to both you and the receiver.      

https://www.heartmath.org/articles-of-the-heart/the-math-of-heartmath/heart-based-living/

The term Heart-based living can mean something as simple as including your hearts’ intuition, your mind, and your values as you make decisions/choices. Your heart has wisdom in its/your feelings you want to learn to discern this wisdom and find the guidance to make that process easier (HeartMath is one source of guidance).

What would it look like to follow your heart? What would others see?

Love, compassion, kindness, patience, forgiveness, cooperation – these are a few of the qualities you might see in yourself when you begin to follow your heart, and you can look for these qualities in others.

You do not need to follow any specific religion to follow your heart. Following your heart is an intelligent way of living that can help reduce stress, separation, and greed which are the drivers of our major problems (think world, and then focus on your community, then yourself).

The information in this blog is from https://www.heartmath.org/articles-of-the-heart/the-math-of-heartmath/heart-based-living/

What is Your Mindset?

Posted on by Dr. Elaine

Our mindset can lift us up, tear us down, gives us a positive attitude or a negative attitude. Much of our mindset has been instilled in us since childhood. The views of our parents, grandparents, teachers, and other important figures in our life influence us, whether we are aware. Our philosophy of life directs our life experiences. Some people, fatalists, believe that no matter what they do the outcome will be the same. What about you? Do you think you have some control over outcomes? Let’s think about that – if you do not study for exams will the outcome be the same as if you do? Does your diet influence your health? These examples seem obvious. Let’s look at some other ways mindset could possibly influence our life. If you are generally a happy person and find an opportunity or something positive in most situations you have a positive mindset. Those with a positive mindset focus on positive results and good outcomes. For many of us, we prefer to be around people with a positive attitude or mindset. A positive mindset also has health benefits. According to the Mayo Clinic, the following are attributed to a positive mindset: – Increased life span- Decreased rates of depression- Lower distress levels- Increased resistance to the common cold- Better psychological and physical well-being- Better heart health and decreased risk of death from cardiovascular disease- Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress. Considering these positive connections, I encourage the development of a positive mindset. Among the ways to build a positive mindset are:- Identify negative thoughts – that’s right – identify the negative, you need to be aware of your thoughts, identify your negative self-talk. – Focus on positive thinking and positive self-talk. Even negative thoughts and self-talk can be turned around to positive thoughts and talk. (Give me a shout, I have some tools for this). Laugh, find the humor in situations (laugh at yourself, not others), surround yourself with positive-thinking people, schedule a couple of times during the day to assess how you have been talking to yourself, and if your thoughts are positive or negative. Remember – what isn’t identified can’t be changed. Can you think of some negative thoughts that can be reframed into positive thoughts? Negative Thoughts Positive Thoughts can’t do that; I’ve never done it before. A great opportunity to try something new. That’s too complicated. I will approach that from a different perspective. I don’t have all I need to do that. I will be creative and workaround or substitute where necessary. I’m never going to get any better than I am now. I will take a chance and try some new things, some self-development courses. That won’t work. That is far out, let’s give it go.No one talks to me, so I never know what is going on. I will make an effort to engage others in conversation and show interest in what is happening. You might also consider watching less news, more comedy, or forget about tv and read positive material. Listen to upbeat or relaxing music. Spend some time outside enjoying nature. If you don’t care for nature, try just a few minutes when the weather is your favourite kind (for me sunny and warm). You can also try meditation. Or try taking a few moments to identify the things in your life for which you are grateful – a roof over your head, food to eat, a job, a family, health, life, your pet. Start a list of these things for the times when you can’t think of anything positive, and you can refer to your list. When you first wake up, or when you are brushing your teeth take a minute to take 3 – 5 deep, slow breaths, and then focus on something positive for another few breaths. It can’t hurt anything, and you might just find yourself feel more positive. I have a variety of strategies for you to try if you would like to feel more positive; direct message me and we can talk.

Changes – The Only Thing On Which We Can Rely

Posted on by Dr. Elaine

I have never been afraid of change. Everything is constantly changing. The world is experiencing huge change because the COVID-19 Pandemic is having an effect on everyone. It is just one of the changes I have experienced over the last seven years. Some of the changes have not been pleasant. However, I have learned a lot. Just as I expect to do in any experience.

I am a big supporter of self-care & have been for many years. I rudely discovered I wasn’t doing quite enough. I am a stubborn person & it took me quite a while to listen. If I had listened to my body a bit sooner maybe I wouldn’t have had seven years of health changes that were anything but pleasant.

In 2013 our home was flooded during the great flood of Calgary. Not good; but, I had been wanting to get rid of the carpet in the basement & make a few other changes. What an opportunity. About a week later that I found out why I had been so incredibly tired for the past year or two – I had an autoimmune disease. Changes.

I had always thought of self-care as going for a massage, a mani-pedi, or as simple as a nice soak in the tub. I also knew that self-care meant not taking on too much & being able to say “no”.

With the news of an autoimmune disease, I listened to my body & I slowed down. Not enough. I adapted, somewhat. I found not being able to do all I wanted very frustrating. I wasn’t able to work enough to keep my job. I retired, not what I wanted, but what I had to do. I hadn’t been without a job in about 40 years. But, I had lots of things to do, just not enough energy to do them all.

Still not feeling well my doctor was watching me & referring me to appropriate specialists. I had my gallbladder removed because of stones & nausea almost every day. The surgery went smooth & I was feeling great the next day & attended my granddaughter’s grade 12 grad just 3 days later.

A week later, things changed. I awoke in great pain. Back to the hospital for a week’s stay, I had pancreatitis. I took the entire summer to recover. A great change to how I would normally spend the summer.

I never got back to feeling well, but I kept plugging along doing what I could to regain strength & endurance. Various symptoms continued to develop. Tests & referrals to a variety of doctors. Eventually, it was noted that my spleen was getting quite large (I hadn’t been able to eat much for several months & my weight was dropping. I was very happy to lose the weight, I needed to drop many pounds. The doctors weren’t quite so happy. Surgery was in order to remove the spleen. I think that went as well as could be expected. The spleen was cancerous, as the doctors had suspected. With my spleen removed I was considered in remission, I would only need to be followed by the cancer clinic. I could handle that. Again doing well recovering from the surgery. Having surgeries was a big change for me & I was pretty happy with both. As a retired ICU nurse, I was very aware of many things that could go wrong.

About a month after the splenectomy, I started to not feel well again. Another change that I wasn’t too happy about. More tests. Off to the hospital again. I wasn’t feeling too bad, & was surprised that the hospital kept me. A couple of days later that changed. I thought I was going to die & the doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong. A different cancer this time. I was thrilled that it was just cancer & could be treated with chemotherapy & was expected to have a full recovery.

The chemotherapy routine was different – another change. My husband was a marvelous caregiver; I will be forever grateful to him. I finished chemotherapy in February 2020. COVID hit & within a month we were in lockdown. However, that wasn’t a big change for me; I had been very careful since my spleen was removed because no spleen decreases your resistance to infection.

What changes have occurred since then? Well, nothing very major. Another autoimmune disorder, but not much different than what I already had.

Changes

Elaine
Before Chemo
During Chemo

Every day we undergo changes we don’t notice. In one day 2 to 3 million red blood cells are produced. As cells are produced others are dying. As many as 1011 cells die each day in adults. These are only some of our cells. Different cells live for various amounts of time. Just as we cannot step in the same river twice, we are a different person every day with many new cells. Change in you, in me, every day: wow!

When faced with change I suggest looking at what you can learn. Discover how change can be of benefit, or provide the source for an adventure. Whether it is health, how you are functioning in this world, or discovering more about yourself you have a choice to embrace change & make sure you emerge a better person OR you can choose to let the change control you.

I am working to build my coaching/mentoring business. As I do this work, I realize I have lots to learn, not the least is more about technology. I am much more aware of the positive changes we can make. Sometimes we need to make changes so we can manage the changes we have accepted in the past. I love helping people discover the wonderful things they can do with just a bit of discovery & guidance.

What changes would you like to make? Oh my gosh, we can actually choose to make changes. Where do you want to be in 5 years? Will you need to make some changes to get there? Will there also be changes that ‘just happen’?

Book a time in my calendar to schedule a free chat to uncover your strengths & move forward to make your dreams come true.